“Testing the Waters” Move in before or after tying the knot?

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There is nothing better than walking through the mall or grocery store and being offered a sample of an item before wasting your money and purchasing something that looks delectable due to the package, but ends up nothing like you expected. Better yet, what about seeing an outfit in the display window of a clothing store and then you try it on and it turns to look absolutely absurd? Being able to test something out before committing yourself to purchase is the most convenient solution, but what if we apply this method when it comes to the deciding factor on whether or not to move in with your significant other before getting married?

living together v.s dating and living separately

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In terms of seeing if your spouse would end up being a good room mate for life if you plan on marrying them in the near future, (this does not apply to couples that move in for convenience). Some couples feel that it is necessary to move in together as a trial era to see if they can indeed live together for eternity. As times begin to change relationships, and traditions begin to change with it also, but should this be one of those changes that we should embrace?

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With major decision you make, the best way to attempt it is to lay out the advantages and disadvantages. Sure its a good idea to move in and save up for your a future home, or to see if there are any bad habits that can be tolerated, but what is the point? If you decide to move in together do it for reasons other than “Testing the waters” because the only difference with it being done before marriage is the timing. You can live with someone after you are married and all of a sudden you begin to notice thing that may rub you the wrong way, but that is what every relationship is about, compromise. Moving in before hand will prolonging the process, or its kind of like anticipating something can go left.

I am a person that loves my space, and the only way I feel the need to share it is if I get married. The idea of dating someone, falling in love and deciding to marry them is enough for me because to me that is what it is about, accepting and embracing change. You can always sleep over if you want to see how they live, and vise versa. Therefore your place will still be available as insurance against committing by default.


My only issue with is to make sure that if you want to test the waters, make sure it be with someone worth testing the waters with.  Do not start acting like a wife or husband when you are still a girlfriend or boyfriend, I mean if we do then what would be the point of marriage? People that are afraid of commitment would often be involved in relationship like this. There is an old but true saying “Why buy the cow if you can sample the cow for free” ( I can hear my grandmother telling me this while pointing in my face with her index finger). This saying exists simply because it was done before, and because of this relationships often lead to a state of inertia. You get so content with your life, that you become comfortable and it will cause you to ignore signs that the relationship is not working, if it ends up making a turn for the worst. So you end up deeply invested in a relationship basically for convenience, and familiarity even though you know that its better off to call it a quits.

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