Love the one that loves you more

I once heard a saying back home “Love the one who loves you more” and that stuck in my head ever since. If Celine Dion had the opportunity to hear of this saying, her song “To love you more would of never existed”.  The saying simply means that it is best to be in a relationship with someone who loves you more than you love them. There can be so many reasons why this may be something that can be factual .

My reasons being that you definitely wouldn’t be taken advantage of easily, they say love is blind, at least this time you will be able to see. Women tend to be stereotyped as the gender type whom tend to seek interest in men, that often doesn’t return the mutual feeling. In other words we (women), tend to over look men that are their types (that more than likely ARE), for whatever reason. One of those reasons can be, having unrealistic ideals, which can cover from not being physically unattractive, to being financially unstable. Reasons that are unthinkable, that more than likely do not exist…

The definition of ideal is “ A conception of something in its perfection.”

But yeah, getting back on topic, most women will more than likely be able to recognize at least one good man they met in their lives, who they pushed to the side so that they can pursue someone with  more to offer. The person that genuinely loves you more, may not be the person that suits your ideal but they may be what you need. The definition of ideal is “ A conception of something in its perfection.” Ideal stems from the word idea, It is something that exists only in the imagination. We tend to think that we have the answer as to what a perfect lover/soul mate should be from what we believe in our head, which is an idea, which may have been influenced by music, television, or books. In the end an idea can be just that, a thought, not something that is realistic.

These men are not often what you may want but what you need. Its’s just like kids eating their vegetables, they don’t want them, but they are planted in their lives and need them way more than they would want them. These men can show or give you what you need, with that you can grow together to love one another. Some people often miss out on opportunities because the person that is head over heels with them might not suit the ideal image of who they (think) should be with. So that leaves the question ” Do you even know what you want in an ideal man?”  Sometimes, your ideals may not exist.

Not receiving closure may just be the closure you need

After a relationship ends on bad terms some of us tend to seek closure in order to move on. We want to feel a sense of resolution to help move us onto accepting the fact that the relationship is over. For some this is what we need to move on, for others it might be an reason not to move on. Often not every relationship you are involved in will allow for the door to be closed fully closed.  Its okay to close that door on your own because curiosity could end up killing the cat, and lead to you to a place where you might not want to end up. There are times where we do know in fact that the relationship is over, do you need concrete evidence from your significant other? Sometimes we move on to soon giving ourselves a false sense of closure. Then there are times when we take too long to ever really move on because we feel that we’ve never received the closure we needed to close that final chapter.

closure photo

If you can relate to this then this article is for you. We sometimes get stuck in that phase because sometimes your significant other might rob you of that by choosing not to, either because they feel you are not deserving of it, or because they want to keep you around for a little longer. Well my beautiful reader I am here to tell you that it’s your life, and while you enjoy the ride don’t ever let someone else take control of your wheel and steer you into the wrong direction. Don’t ever get to the point where you need an answer to decide to move on, if your lover is stubborn, or severed ties with you before giving you any closure then you might not get that closure you need want to move on.

Closure is not necessary, and it is not needed to move on

closure photo 2

In the end there would definitely need to be a proper structure of communication between the two of you in order to express this. If the communication is broken for whatever reason and you feel the need for closure that you might not get at instant (and by instant I mean that if there wasn’t obvious signs or evidence that you can figure out on hour own) answer, all you can do is let time take its course to make another attempt. Closure is not necessary, and it is not needed to move on . Even though it might help with the process of moving on, try not to get hung up over it, or put your life on hold until that day comes. Because not getting closure may be the closure you need, it might not be what you expect but it might be the closure you need. Free your thoughts and watch them fly ~SWV.

Freiheit

PREFERENCE & OR PREJUDICE

Image result for different ethnicities dating

Dating use to be so simple, now days it seems to become such a controversial subject. Have you ever mentioned to someone about your preference and received backlash for because of it, and thought to yourself what in the bigotry…when did having a preference became prejudice? I remember signing up dating site, the first thing I had to fill out was my personal info (for the people that are interested in you) and then fill out information for my preference (the person you plan to be paired with).

First things first, if it’s a general dating site you will have to state your sexuality (if you choose). That is unless you go a specific website that targets certain demographics or sexual orientation like, Christian Mingle, Black people meet, Ashley Madison, or Sugar Daddy Meet. Then you will be able to describe what you are interested in a person physically. You will go into more detail like height, body type and then lists your interests, hobbies that you like and would like for your interest to have in common, and then WALA! Just sit back and wait for that dm from the person of your dreams. 

to be attracted to a person you must be just that, attracted

Related image

Yes, it might seem a bit shallow but to be attracted to a person you must be just that, attracted. Whether you are a person that must find physical attraction first, must be intellectual stimulated be a least bit attracted at first, we all agree that there must first be some form of attraction. Sure, some people tend to be more specific than others when it comes to appearance. They might prefer someone that is tall in stature, with skinny ankles,  light eyes, perfect teeth, and hair that glistens in the sun like a mermaid, because that is what they find attractive… now (and I say this because situations like reality and maturity tend to change this in time). But seriously speaking, some persons might prefer someone that is glamorous, while others prefer someone more the girl/guy next door type.

Image result for dating opposites

A person like this will be looked at as superficial which is not where the problem lies. I think the part that becomes more misunderstood and offensive to others is when race becomes involved. Where someone of specific race might say that they prefer do date only within their race or only outside of there race. This is where we are judged ever more as racist or discriminating. A person should be allowed a preference whether it offends someone or not, because in the end love have no boundaries. As long a person if of age and mentally able to they should be able to chose to date whomever they please. Just a few years ago people were not just judged but killed because of having a preference. It was illegal for persons of a different race, social class, or genders to do this, let’s not go back in time where we were punished for wanting to chose who or what we want.

Common topics that spark controversy when having a preference to:

  • Dating outside or only inside your race.
  • Dating someone with intellect.
  • Dating outside your culture.
  • Dating persons of a specific body type.
  • Dating within or out of your social class.
  • Dating someone with kids.
  • Dating someone with a large age gap. 

There are many more topics that can be included, but the topics listed are what I have noticed to be the most common and controversial topics when it comes to dating. The only reason I have noticed for this to be offensive to others is because of a person being close minded and only seeing it their way, or insecure because they might not fit the preference of that particular person. It’s totally fine to not be someones cup of tea, even if that is a person you might be interested in, sure it might sting at first but now that there is someone out there that will someday find you worship the ground you walk on. In the end its not wrong to date someone that is exactly like you or totally different from you, no two persons are exactly alike.

17 Of The Cutest Opposites-Attract Couples Ever On TV

By  | 

17 Of The Cutest Opposites-Attract Couples Ever On TV

Here is a list of my favorite onscreen couples that dated with no boundaries.

Rich, poor, human, supernatural, nerdy, popular, socially awkward, black, white, English, Irish, Pink lady, T- Bird, fiction or non we still can learn a thing or two from them.

Image result for laura and steve urkel
Image result for save the last dance
Image result for 10 things i hate about you
Related image
Edward and Kim. From Edward Scissorhands (1990) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099487/).
Image result for buffy and angel
Danny and Sandy. From Grease (1978) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077631/?ref_=ttmi_tt).
Image result for titanic leonardo dicaprio